Me: Blurmpu. ~splash~
(I've just tried to say "thank you" with my mouth full of water. We both know ASL for "thank you".)
Me: I saw a picture of Kesha getting eaten out.
Him: Getting what?
Me: Kesha getting eaten out.
Him: Ew.
Me: Do you want to meet Tiny Tim, the miniature tortoise who is smaller than a grape?
Him: No.
Me: Yes you do!
Me: I'm funny!
Him: ...
Me: You're not going to argue?
Him: Nope.
Me: Those postage-paid envelopes are going to get stolen. I hope they keep them behind the counter.
Him: Is what omelets?
Me: I weigh less than Doug Benson.
Him: Great.
Me: I'm putting that, I'm putting that ... I'm putting that - I'm typing that down.
Him: Mmhmm.
Me: Gew-gle. Say it.
Him: ...
Me: Say it.
Him: Google.
Me: Say it weird.
Him: Google. Guggle? Who was that guy? There was a guy last night on PBS who said it weird ... Guggle - he pronounced it like "kugel".
Me: Would you wear a Moose hat and go online and be photographed?
Him: I don't know. I don't care. Why wouldn't I? Is it the most shameful thing to happen to a guy?
Me: Shut up.
Me: I like the word "choppy".
Him: Choppy. ~nods, continues reading~
Eldest Son, during dinner: bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles...
Me: What the ... hell?
ES: bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles...
Him: He likes bubbles.
ES: bubbles, bubbles, bubbles,bubbles, bubbles...
Him: Stop spinning, stop spinning, stop spinning ... solve it! Oh! How can he not know!? Solve it! Ahh! How can he not know!?
Me: There's gunna be unicorns.
Him: There's newbie unicorns?
Me: I'll be right back.
Eldest Son, upon waking from his nap: Troubles, dot com.
Me: It looks like Steve's Amazon order shipped.
Him: What? Steambob's onion dip? You need to repeat that.
Me: There were two things I was supposed to tell you today, but I can't remember what they were.
Him: Do either of them have anything to do with me being a nugget-head?
Me: What did you think of my new nickname?
Him: What was it? I can't remember it.
Me: Try.
Him: Princess Bonnet-head?
Me: No.
Him: What is it?!
Me: Lady Brusselbustle.
Him: Is there a story behind that?
Me: No.
Me: I lost my pantiliner, have you-
Him: (an expression that's a mixture of confusion, shock and curiosity with a dash of amusement)
Me: Okay, that answers my question. You haven't seen it.
Him: Did you have it when you went to bed?
Me: Yes.
