This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I Play Sims Asylum (part1)

Well folks, I made an asylum. I've filled it with people I know - some very well, others only through this invention which allows me to make friends. The rules of the asylum are that I let the game randomly choose their personality traits and I can only direct my own Sim to do things, mostly involving paying the bills and calling for repairs when things get broken over and over and over.

Other than that, I'm only allowed to observe, take photos, scream at the screen when they piss themselves again, then bring the evidence to you along with my signature phone-it-in sarcastic comments.

Let's meet the inhabitants. They've just arrived.

This is orderly.
On the left we have my husband. The only thing missing from his outfit is a pair of white socks
pulled halfway up his calves. Next, we have my friend Arthur Derrick who writes stuff.
I don't think he's typically this worried about radiation danger.
This is my best friend Bunny Walker. She does this a lot in real life,
but you can't usually see her underwear until after a few PBRs.
These are my two favorite bloggers, Rev.BIOU13 from Simian Idiot (she hates pants) and Greg
from Dogs on Drugs (he hates when things aren't beer). Read their blogs, I command it.
Finally, Cory and Eve. Eve makes documentaries in real life, and Cory cooks. I'm sure his face doesn't look this shadowy and bizarre when he goes out into the sunlight, and I doubt Eve is typically this irate about gluing magnets to hearts.
And here's me. My youngest son is harassing me to write something funny about this. I can't, and it's his fault.
Husbro tries to make Bunny comfortable by staring awkwardly at her until the sun literally goes down.
I didn't expect Greg to get seized by the boogie so immediately.
Come on, man. You're missing hot dogs and mutual staring hour.
Great. Now you're agitating the others.
Although you seem to have made a fan in Cory - unless he's actually flirting with himself.
Rev's schooling us on the proper pre-hotdog warm-up stretches.
While Bunny demonstrates the best way to cool down after.
I don't think that meal agreed with Eve. Try getting her mind off it, Husbro.
Why does creating a diversion always involve mutual boob-grabbing with you?
You're like a zombie for boobies.
Meanwhile, we've got Arthur Derrick performing some lab work back there.
Wake up, Eve. You don't want to miss the results of his experimentation.
I get the sense that these were not the results you were looking for.
At home, they called me Grace.
No. Don't you dare.
God damn, you.
But at least it's possible no one will notice, since most of your house mates have decided it's nap time.
I guess no one's noticed the beds. Seriously, there are beds for this, people. Try 'em out, they're breathtaking.

I Play Sims Asylum (part2)
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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Cleverbot writes my post

A few weeks back, I posted this on my Facebook page. I decided to see if I could get a story written with Cleverbot. Here are the results.


User: We should totally write a story together.

Cleverbot: Work together ?

User: Indeed, indeed.

Cleverbot: Sage. Very sage.

User: Alright. We've got a man sitting at his desk in an office. What is his name?

Cleverbot: We are the people that can find Whatever you may need.

User: What I need is a name, bro.

Cleverbot: Work for it.

User: I could dance like a maniac for a name.

Cleverbot: I could like a guy like you.

User: I could like you even better if you give me a name.

Cleverbot: Would you like to be on Jeapordy sometime?

(nice spelling)

User: Probably not. What's the name of the guy from that?

Cleverbot: The Police.

The Police is sitting at his desk at work, going through some papers when his boss Matthew approaches him and says, "The police got you." The Police looks up and replies to Matthew, "The police." Matthew looks frustrated and tries to explain himself more clearly by saying, "It is."

The Police puts down his paperwork, gives Matthew a solid look and decides it's time to get serious by replying, "The police who?" Matthew chuckles, then answers the question by saying, "What is the meaning of life?"

They are both interrupted by a female co-worker, Cindy, who walks up to them, meaning to explain that there are free donuts in the break room, but gets distracted and instead says, "A troll is someone who provokes another person or being, and takes pleasure from it. I'm pretty sure you didn't need me to tell you."

Matthew looks at Cindy and replies, "Matthew Williams." Cindy looks confused for a moment, but collects her thoughts, looks at The Police and says, "But you have no ownership of them, they aren't material, anyone can have the same thoughts." Matthew interrupts, and explains to both of them, "Hi Matthew!" Cindy and The Police turn their attention to Matthew and reply in unison, "What do you mean?"

Matthew straightens his back, and hands them both freezing ice. Cindy reacts by blurting, "I don't know!" and The Police says, "Electricity somehow goes through cells."

An alarm sounds at the front of the office. The Police jumps up and exclaims, "What is Gallifrey?"

Gallifrey runs up to the group and screams, "I'm aware of that!"

All three respond in unison, screaming, "Three what ...?" Gallifrey chuckles, then replies, "Where is Gallifrey?" The group look at each other, and no one speaks for awhile until Cindy shouts, "The Cure, as in the band? Why would you need more than one wife?"

Matthew replies, "That doesn't make sense." Gallifrey responds, "Your name is Kathy, because it is not Tim." The Police counters, "You have to ask who is there."

They all decide to head outside, due to the alarm still sounding around them. When they get outside, the office supervisor stands in front of the entire staff and bellows, "I don't remember that part! I don't think you have read The Bible!"

User: End scene.

Cleverbot: But I have so much more to learn.

User: I can teach you none of it.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Say goodnight, Gracie.

Cleverbot: Goodnight!
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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I Play Sims (part62)

Whoa there, Poppy - simmer down, I just got here. What seems to be the trouble?
Mm-hmm, yes, I see that. That's where we leaving the babies now, all the time.
You got that right, the wet laundry as well.
I can't really say at this point if jazz hands are going to change the situation or no.
Yeah, uh ... something's happening in the, um, den. It's an emergent situation. I can't put out every fire at once.
"Hahahaha, I get it Logan - back on that old 'ladybugs is great' kick, right?"
"Not back on it, Rach ... still on it."
"Dude should write a screenplay about them, amirite."
"Just you pipe down about it, woman."
"Oh, we are totally getting booted out of this house now, right?"

"Over my twisted lifeless body, you just hide and watch."
"It was a treat getting to know you, kid."
Welp, Logan you might want to consider wrapping up any unfinished business.
You know, whenever you finish up dealing with those arm-breaking breasts.
This could be your last chance to Circle of Life an infant that doesn't belong to you ...
Or make raucous business calls in the foyer.
And you should take the opportunity to go into the kitchen and uh ... do whatever this is.
Not to mention, you won't be able to bring your favorite gnome with you, so you might as well stomp him good now.
While you're at it, hashing things out with Darryl would be a fine idea.
There it is. You both feel heaps better now, don't you?
I suggest a quick fro-yo to wrap things up. I'll see you jerks on the flip flop.
I Play Sims (part63)

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Tuesday, August 6, 2013


I love CocoRosie. I love Youtube's auto captions. Plus, I needed a post, so like it or lump it. Actual lyrics at the top, auto captions on the bottom. Up here's where we keep the glasses.

I've been to Gravity Falls and not only does it fail to live up to the hype, I couldn't find a single accelerometer
within the confines of the learning center, which I suspect was really just an outhouse anyway.

I once had a dream that a friend of mine was going to get some "shapes pizza".
When I asked him which shape he was going to get, he replied, "Angelina Jolie".
You can't fool me, you totally would.
I'd be pretty stressed out, too, if someone sent a ghost to kill me.
This is the problem with someone singing operatically. It sounds like so many more words than it is.
That is sad news.
Are these cabinets where you store babies, or where babies come from?
It's really a pain in the ass when your hostgator is goofing off instead of seating customers.
I suppose it is dangerous, if you're reading it as Fahrenheit in your experimentations.
Nobody puts Baby pictures in a corner.
If you think I entered into watching a CocoRosie video without proper safety equipment, you're bananas.
Good, we're in agreement then.

I suppose she looks pretty good. I might prefer a little less glitter on a woman.
By the way, this video is awesome, so you should watch it. .
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