First, I need to say thank-you to one of the sweetest people I've met on the Sims 3 fan page, Chloe. Just before my old laptop decided it was done living, she gifted me every item I had on my Sims 3 Store wish list. I did a little re-decorating at the Rosenzweig home and added five of the nine objects she gave me.
Now, let's get down to business and have a chat about scam spam. At first I thought these things were posted by fake accounts, but much to my sighing eyeroll, I've realized that real people think this stuff works and voluntarily spam this crap on walls and fan pages - and these people don't seem to like when you point out that they probably shouldn't be allowed to use the internet unsupervised.
Next, we have the confused and indignant. Yes, they're in a search for information and you will give them the answers they seek without any lip. Forget about the fact that they're on the same internet you are and sometimes can't be troubled with such things as spelling correctly or making sense. Or using Google ... or making sure they're even on the right page. Did I mention they don't want any sass out of you? Good.
This ... I can not explain:
If you don't know what's going on below, see if putting your finger in your belly button while staring at this sheds some light on it ... and no, I won't smell your finger.
You wanna know what this Sims story is? IT'S WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS! So read and follow - or you'll all get the woozies. Think I'm kidding? Try me.
Did you know that reading my Sims story can make you smarter and better looking? Yeah, that's a lie. Read it anyway. It'll protect you from black magic.
It's not a surprise, but it is a Sims story. I wrote it with my own two fingers. The other ones weren't allowed to watch, because they'd been bad. I don't want to talk about it. BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, WILL IT?
New update, for those who already read my Sims story! For those who haven't even heard of me ... where have you BEEN? We're on part 23 already! Dick Vitale called, he said you're missing the game, baby!
If you've never read my Sims story you've never been in touch with the magic I infuse into every story. I do it for you, kittens. Magic infusion is hard work, and it stains the fingers, and cripples the back. I look like an angry dwarf right now, and even though that has nothing to do with writing these stories, you should still read them.
New update, for those who were desperately waiting! For those who are staring blankly, thinking, "who the eff is that?" I'll tell you. I'm Nico. I'm the answer to your prayers. I write a Sims story so funny that after you read it, you'll wonder if it actually ever existed. Either that, or I'm an egotistical twerp who should have gone to bed an hour ago. Perspectives.
I heard a rumor that I am actually an alien sent from another planet, bent on destroying earth. That's just silly. I would never want to destroy earth, you have such nice chocolates here, and your reality television is unsurpassed on Dirlani 5. Now that I've set your mind at ease, go read my Sims story. It's an inter-galactic good time.
My Sims story is many things, including, but not limited to: laughy, pictureful, sometimes y. Things that my Sims story isn't: corn-flavored, cream-filled, Spanish-speaking, hyphenated, lactose-intolerant, sitting on my knee, a She-wolf, killing me softly. Read and follow, because I said so.
Last but not least, Facebook ads!