This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?

Monday, March 26, 2012

I Play Sims (part37)

Let's get to know Frida? Let's see what she's been getting up to.

But also, did you know that Frida was a career woman?
She's about to do her very first interior design job!

(click here for pictures of the job)

(click here for pictures of the job)

Okay, well ... who's next?

(click here for pictures of the job)

I Play Sims (part38)
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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm tapas-ed out of clever title ideas

Hi, kids.  I haven't actually been hanging around the Sims 3 Facebook fan page recently, but I did have a couple of things laying around. Hey look, it's Tania. She's always ... fun.

Also, this:

This next round of Youtube mistranscriptions requires a bit of explanation.  I have a friend named Andrew, from a magical land called Gamer Handles and he can rant like almost no one on this planet.  I've decided to put the chocolate of mistranscriptions right into Andrew's ranting peanut butter.

Here's Andrew (his rants are at the top, the transcriptions at the bottom) playing Track and Field - or, according to him, "God fucking Track and Field!  More like piece of shit and ass-fuck!"

Finally, a few bunches of Facebook ads.

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Monday, March 12, 2012

Letters to Strangers

For the few of you not familiar with my newest hobby, check this out.
Today, we torment Daniel.

Since I have you here, and the room is already paid for, let's look at some other stuff.

I got this very fun Skype friend request the other day:

I'm a lot of woman, but I don't think even I could handle a whole Ukrainian army. Pick a regiment.

My friend Emma sent this to me:

I think the italics are on the wrong word here.  Let's try: "Centipedes? In my vagina?"
No? ~shrugs~

Finally, I have painstakingly collected search terms people used to find my blog and compiled them into neat, pretty little pictures - not because you care how they look, but because it soothes the monster which resided within my soul.

First, the recent obsession with Chatroulette.  Here's what the people want.

I am offended by this because I never misspell masturbate. 

Now take a look at the varied and very wrong ways people are spelling Chatroulette:

Not that bad, I suppose, but they get worse:

There's a dick in cup of coffee joke which exists, but unfortunately, I cannot access it.

It's pretty clear they've either already started before getting to Chatroulette, or are typing with their penis.

Now, feast your eyes on this random nonsense:

I know I've said a lot about Katy Perry, but I've focused mainly on her eyes and cupcake tits - I ... wasn't even aware she had feet fingers.  Do they mean toes? What the fuck is happening?

This is downright distressing. Seek help, you.

I never, ever joke about anal sex. I do, however, run into the issue of choking on nut sacks about fortnightly. Any advice would be appreciated. To be fair, I never used the phrase "natalie portman eats out mila kunis" for one thing, because that is not how it went down in Black Swan, but also, the exact phrase I used had something to do with "Portman tacos", which I find equal parts hilarious and juvenile.

Hey! I like titties, too!  But maybe tone it down a little - there are no tits here, I promise. Also, whoever searched for "titties.....hell yes!" I really, really need to talk to you. 

Hi.  See a fucking doctor.

I have a tiny nerdgasm every time someone finds my blog by searching for stuff like "spacing guild navigator".  Also, I'm calling the police.

That about sums this up.  I've made you look at a lot of stupid things. Sorry about that.  Now, check this stupid thing out, and try not to get addicted to it.

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