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This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?





Showing posts with label fauxrotica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fauxrotica. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Erotica

Yeah, you read that right.  But don't get too excited.  Several days ago, my best friend Bunny Walker asked me if I was writing erotica under the name N.T. Morley.  I was not.  But it later occurred to me that perhaps I could write sarcastic erotica.

Then I remembered that a lot of my readers are like, fifteen years old.  But I still needed a post this week, since my lazy ass hadn't prepared one!  What to do?

So, it's an erotic Mad Libs. A fauxrotic story.  Ahem.

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She had never ate quite this way before in her life.  Her strong, sparkly Penishead stared down into her left hands breathlessly, annoyingly and she was stricken, unable to kill.

He finally spoke, "Cut me."

She did.  It was manly and her eyeball plotted, pounding in her toe.

He spoke again, "Maul over. I want to see your pinky finger."

When he ran her, she gasped perfectly. "Holy crap!" she cried out.

"Do you eat that? Should I do it quickly?"

"Yes," she replied, "then I want you to give me some of that gruesome door, Penishead, like that time when we were at Arizona."

Penishead kept littering until he could litter no more.  They dazed, unsightly. But that wasn't the end of it - after they'd regained their breath, she reached for her cow from the Ab Circle Pro and held it up in front of Penishead's face.

"How about we hang this cow, but this time it's my turn - I've always wanted to swing your chin in the moonlight."

"That looks dizzy," he replied, fairily.

"It's not as dizzy as it looks and it feels frail. Trust me, you'll want me to hang you with it, all Goosesheherp gaggling."

"Alright, I'll peel it." he relented. "if for no other reason than that this delayed processed paperwork needs to agree to a conclusion at some point."

"There's more than five ways to count a bull," she winked.

"There sure is, Pet." Penishead enrolled.

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