Hounds and Foot Foot

Picture it: my children were both napping at the same time and I had just started to eat my lunch when those marvelous dogs began barking.

It was a very typical day.  

Except something was missing - I didn't hear the grumpy stomp of my upstairs neighbor lumbering across her living room before ineffectually opening and closing the sliding glass door to her balcony several times throughout nap time.  It's impossible to know precisely what she does in those moments when her door is open, but based on results, I suspect she's trying to reason with the dogs.  For all the sense she's displayed, it's possible she recites a quick haiku about clouds in an attempt to calm them down.

But none of that was happening today, because the dogs were home alone.  In the past when they left the apartment, their pattern was to put the dogs inside, after turning off the air conditioning and opening the windows.  This accomplished two things: it kept them from violating the lease rule regarding locking their animals outside in a cage while they were gone, while still achieving maximum levels of perturbation and bedevilment within their neighbors.

(Many people have suggested I call the ASPCA - just so you know, when I do that, I get referred to the county sheriff.  I've long since given up on aggravating the sheriff's department, because these people have the magic ability to cease the bullshittery just before the officer arrives.)

The dogs barked, louder than usual (I'll take separation anxiety for $1,000, Alex), for over thirty stressful minutes, mere yards away from a sleeping child.  After ten of those minutes, I called the office.  They were beyond thrilled to hear from me.  A few minutes later I heard someone walk up, then down the stairs seconds later.  You can tell whenever anyone uses the stairs, no matter how quietly they walk, because the first step is busted and makes this really awesome sound - it's like someone smacked a bat against the metal railing. 

I found out, from a second call to the office after about twenty minutes of barking, that the neighbors had been called and were returning to deal with the issue.  Goody gumdrops.

When they actually arrive home, to the frenzied greeting barks of their dogs, I hear them open their sliding glass door to let them in from the cages on their balcony.  Those jelly donuts think it's completely fine to leave their dogs outside in the elements while they leave their apartment.

Here's the weird thing, though: ever since that day I haven't witnessed the dogs being left on the balcony for any length of time.  I have heard them barking, but now it's from inside the apartment.  How long this will last, I know not.

I have no idea what changed.  These people have lived here a few months and I've been very clear in my complaints to the office that the dogs have been living in cages on the balcony.  I say it nearly every time I speak to them about the dogs, "I don't know what they're telling you, but those dogs live in cages on their balcony."  So unless I'm having a seizure every time I call, and am actually speaking an unknown language, they've had this information for quite some time.  They've even come by and seen the cages, as well as the fact that the dogs were being fed out there (the food that doesn't fall onto our patio, that is).

Maybe the office staff is so sick of hearing my voice they were finally willing to insist these people be responsible for their own animals to avoid hearing it for a few weeks.

Oh well.  Whatever works.

In honor of the few days of peace we've had, I bring you My Pal Foot Foot by The Shaggs