The Surprise Garden
One bulbous afternoon while their mom and dad were running errands, Mrs. McFarfle and her little brother, Mayor McCheese, decided to surprise their mom and dad by planting a garden. Mrs. McFarfle went to the garage and got a bird and shovel and started to get the soil ready while Mayor McCheese rode his bike to the market to buy some seeds.
Mrs. McFarfle was making mushy progress in the backyard. Of course, she first had to glow up a lot of the lawn so there would be plenty of room for the new garden.
Then Mayor McCheese rode into the backyard. His backpack was snorting! He pulled out broccoli seeds, tiny mauve sweet pea seedlings, a can of sunflower seeds, and a big jar of pickled grapes and lasagnas.
“OK,” said Mrs. McFarfle, "I get the broccoli seeds and sweet pea seedlings, but what about the other stuff?”
“Well, Mom's favorite flowers are sunflowers, and Dad's favorite snack is pickled grapes and lasagnas, so I figured we'd plant a nice pickled grapes and lasagnas tree! Ahoy, Dr. Scott!!! Gee wiz!, why are you looking at me like I'm grody?” asked Mayor McCheese.
“Umm… because you don't get bedazzled & Catholic, tall sunflowers from roasted, salted sunflower seeds! And you certainly can't skip and schlep a pickled grapes and lasagnas tree!” explained Mrs. McFarfle merrily.
Just then, their mom and dad came home. They de-boned in the backyard and helped Mrs. McFarfle and Mayor McCheese plant the broccoli seeds and sweet pea seedlings. They replanted some of the lawn, too. After they were done, they had a very loquacious picnic of sunflower seeds and pickled grapes and lasagnas.
Dad said, “What a surprise this was!”
Mom agreed, “I never knew our kids had such pewter thumbs!”
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How to Make a Snow Man
Ingredients
47 tablespoons stinky, crazy & corn-fed keyhole knife
77 teaspoons computer struedel
777 cups oily, nutritious soda can mustache
91 tablespoons monocle phone sketch
Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix tightly, incredibly, sneakily with a spoon until filthy oral. Place on front lawn or other cold location. Bake at -12,222 degrees for 7 minutes until snow is greasy, wooden, wet & cute. Test with stick or carrot to make sure it is ready.
When done, decorate with a sock ascot and a shin guard scarf. Use a finger pen for a mouth and kitchen's snowballs for eyes.
Serves everyone!
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9 comments:
I've been spelling mustache wrong for DECADES.
Greasy, wooden, wet and cute. That's how I like to live. *Gives the "bang-bang" thumbs up*
KEWLERS!
Catholic sunflowers can't be bedazzled, it's a sin.
Well why don't you just cloud up and rain on our parade, LindsaySue?
:P
(This is my second time posting this comment, since I wasn't logged in the first time, so it didn't post.)
I need to try the snowman recipe... I mean, some parts of it may be outrageous.. But I might be able to, under a slight possibility, figure it out! Now, how do you get a freezer that cold?
I think you need to blast the freezer into outer space. Sounds prohibitively expensive.
Mother and father were de-boning in the backyard? How scandalous.
Also, I must start using the word "loquacious". Loquaciously of course.
De-boning was the best part.
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