Chatroulette Deux

Remember when I told you I had more goodies for you? Well, the time is now. The internet eye Snickers have arrived. Oh my god I can't waaaaait.

My second trip into the land of  "Seriously, I'm this bored?" actually started out quite gently with a couple of nice Polish people. Look at those sweeties.

Then. This.

Followed by this.

This guy was kinda great. I asked if he was from Jersey, he told me he was from California. I told him he looked like a guido and he straight up shut the window. Good times.

I rounded out my second night with a child making a very brusque demand for tits.

Admittedly, these weren't my best comebacks, but to be fair, I was drinking and just lucky I could type words.

Day three was even more interesting. Although I'm very sure I also mean depressing. Yep, more of this:

I do really like the jaunty bug-eyes I gave him to hide his identity. It really needed hiding, too - that black bar is only this ample because I knew not one of you would want to see that guy's tush.

Next, more demands for tits - why can't any of these kids spell "peek"? Is this Pun Night, Fun Night?

These guys just screamed at me that I was ugly - which, at the very least, was something novel.

But then - a Chatroulette miracle. We like Smang it, dang it.

Chatroulette wasn't done dishing out something different, though.  A girl! And I was just the special guy for her.

She was truly beautiful, the only reason I appear as though I've found a wad of gum on my pants is because I was utterly unprepared for the stuff she was doing. This was the tamest screen shot I could get before I jetted out of there like a virgin or something.

Then there was the Kittenman! Oh my god the Kittenman.  For absolute reals, if you heard the noise he was making, you'd still be chuckling, too. I almost couldn't even.

I especially love the person on the bed in the background just cooling out like this is just another day, another screeching session with the Kittenman.

Things went back to relative normal at this point. I ran into some dudes from Chile and used almost all of the Spanish words I know in an attempt communication with these delightful lads.

I gotta say, though. My elbow looked pretty damned gordo up there. I'm-a need a Shake Weight or sumfin'.

Speaking of Shake Weights.

Enlarge if ye dare.

It's at this point I get a little silly.

This happened:

Clearly losing my sense of humor, it's at this point that Chatroulette sends me the most delightful creature they possessed - El Dido, the Mexican Charlie Day. Oh. my god.

 

 

Of course that magic could only last for so long (and before you ask, he left very politely after we talked about how great tacos are), and this is how I ended my evening:

Two weeks later, I still very much can not believe that this is my life.
Don't be like me, be someone completely different.

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