But let me start from the start. I got my feet wet by dipping my substantially silly toes into the bleak world of chat rooms, again. It'd been many years, so I feared I was out of practice - what was not helping this endeavor was the fact that I was ripped to absolute shreds on vodka. I'm lucky I was able to form a cogent sentence, let alone type it and get a couple screen shots. As you'd expect, about a dozen people tried to cyber with me based only upon the fact that I seemed to exist somewhere in time and space.
My first few experiences on Chatroulette were incredibly normal. There was a nice 21-year-old German guy with a foot fetish who looked 15. He was probably 15, actually. Then, there was the Josh Grobin lookalike who quite cheerfully donned a fuzzy hat for me, while being appropriately delighted that I'd put on a chef's hat. I can't tell you how many times I told people I was a chef. I need professional help.
Anyway, things eventually became what you'd expect from Chatroulette.
But then, it got a little weird again. Nico likes weird.
That guy was pretty great, but I have no idea what he's doing with the pictures he took of me. He won't get very far, though - he added me on Facebook, so I know where to find him.
It didn't take long before it was clear I'd stumbled upon someone masturbating. I called him right out on it - and he was all too ready to cop to it, and start making requests, almost all of which I refused - but none of it was amusing enough to share. He just kept insisting I show him body parts while I coquettishly (in my mind) refused. He gave up. I have that effect on people.
Then. There was this guy.
I did not stand up - but he did, which is why I didn't screen cap more of this display of affection from him. Just imagine increasingly more pained and scrunch-faced expressions from me, at the sheer horror of what I was witnessing as I found myself unable to turn away. You never forget the first time a creepy stranger ejaculates on his desk while you mentally add hand sanitizer to your grocery list.
Then there was Jesper, from Belgium. Jesper, Jesper with the bedroom eyes. I'm quite sure there is something wrong with me, because even minus vodka, I think this guy is the dreamiest I'd seen so far on Chatroulette. Jesper, if you ever find this, you have my eternal gratitude for only asking to look at my eyes, as well as your completely delightful follow-up question.
I went in for a second dip the next night, and it did not disappoint. More to come.
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6 comments:
Crazy People on Chat Roulette.
The only time a girl is your stranger, is when they're wearing stockings and are tranies.
-Trappedeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
You do look beautiful.....but what do people think 37 LOOKS like? Are we supposed to be total hags by now, or what?
Bunny, Bunny - you're so sweet.
I don't get it either, except that most of the people confounded by my age tend to be around 20, and thus probably think that SEVENTEEN WHOLE YEARS older is, like, omg. SO old.
To be fair, though, you and I are not exactly the mini-van, mom jeans type and we're mentally 12, so ...
You do have extraordinarily awesome hair.
If I were on Chatroulette, I'd ask if I could see it in exchange for you getting to see up my left nostril... mmm tasty.
Unfortunately, I do not partake in such frivolity, so I shall merely say...
"Splloosh."
You just like it because it's unlike your hair. I've seen your hair. We should trade.
Speaking of hair, I just used this sample of Japanese shampoo and conditioner - about 15 minutes after I towel-dried my hair (one of my secrets to long hair that doesn't look like a barn floor - no heat styling) it had curled into the most gorgeous ringlets my hair has ever been convinced to form without chemicals.
So, I just went online to find it. FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A BOTTLE OF CONDITIONER? Maybe if it comes with oral sex and the bottle vibrates. Fuck.
Grab some freak'n cans and round your hair around the cans,
now thats fuck'n lady gaga style.
:)
- Trap.
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