Can you effing believe I'm up to 50 chapters of this stupid story? It's unreal my commitment to something that amuses about 5-1/2 people, some of whom have actually been written into the thing.
|Logan's discovered the new girl who just moved in and looks to be on a collision course for her. |
Girl, quit thinking about art and notice your surroundings. Doom is heading your way.
|Okay, this is speedy, even for you.|
|Sure, sure - get the formalities out of the way.|
|I'm not totally certain this is the right time to tell her what planet you're from.|
|This is either a shared sneeze, or a brilliant ploy to stick your face in Ms. Chase's cleavage.|
|Yes, yes. You're an evil genius.|
|So what's your next move, huh?|
|What the hell did you just say to her, you naughty puppy?|
|Whatever it was, it seems to have hit the spot in the end. That's what she said.|
|Meanwhile, what's the deal with that car just hanging out in the middle of the street?|
|Alright. I think it's time for you to go home. Once you start staring at her shoes, the conversation has reached a conclusion.|
|Man, you are on fire today.|
|You know, in some cultures, pressing your entire body against your best friend's wife while clad |
only in your underwear would be considered a rather rude way to start a conversation.
|Yes. A step back would be prudent.|
|"Where are you going?"|
|"I'll go with you."|
|Guys, I see that car, as well. Could you start a conversation, please? While we're young.|
|Fantastic. You found a ladybug. Great chat, Logan - I think your blood sugar is dipping.|
|You chose a leftover slice of wedding cake from the now-defunct marriage of your girlfriend. I'd call that poetically |
sinister, but mostly because of what that's going to do to your stomach. That cake's been around a looong time.
|Everyone else decided to have leftover birthday cake. Again.|
|This family eats entirely too much cake. Throw a bowl of Goopy Carbonara in the mix now and then, y'all.|
|Guys, come on. Don't harass the woman who's in a vegetative state just for next year's Christmas card picture.|
|Do it because it's hilarious.|
|Time to cash that cake check you wrote. Best euphemism I could muster.|
|Glad you still consider it a success, though.|
|Oh damn. The bloom has definitely rubbed off of this relationship.|