Due to temporary insanity, plus the promise of cheese steaks and mind-bendingly good pizza, I agreed to drag my small children onto an airplane to go to my hometown in NJ, via the Philadelphia airport - one of the best places in the country to just start flipping the bird at random strangers, for no other reason than being in Philadelphia. It's precisely why I love the place.
Typically, I go back home without any fully-formed plans, which results in me sitting around my mom's house doing nothing until everyone gets sick of each other, and I get into an argument with my mother because her face is near me. This time, I was determined to get out into the world in ways other than just using a touch-screen at Wawa to get a hoagie and giving the person behind the counter a half-hearted grin-mace (it's the official state facial expression) when they hand it to me.
On top of my stellar anal-retentive planning, the stars really aligned for this trip and not once did I make rude gestures toward my mother without meaning it affectionately. It helped that she kept my face full of grease and cheese at nearly all times.
My first full day there, I went for a hike up the Mount, and my upturned, innocent face was smacked with a mini-blizzard. One might consider this a bad thing, but since it's been over eight years since I nearly froze to death walking home, I was indeed very chuffed.
|Only an insane person would hate trying not to fall to their certain twisted ankle due to leaves + snow.|
|I did, however, snap a photo of her feeding my youngest child what must have been cat treats.|
|Definitely cat treats.|
|This was my third helping, so don't go thinking something dumb, like that I have a bird-like appetite.|
|In a bold move, instead of photographing the gorgeous food we ate, I took a picture of my sister making this face.|
You've got that grin-mace down, Sister.
On Thursday, I allowed myself to be dragged out of the safety of my mother's house once again, and donned a rather fetching - not to mention ass-flattering - harness and clung precariously to a wall, calling my sister names which I only spoke in my head, since she was holding the rope that stood between me and crashing gracefully to the floor in a moaning heap.
|I wish I had an explanation other than the harness for why my butt has taken on that shape.|
|I also had a shouting match with one of her cats, which he won soundly. He is a tip-top argumentalist.|
Saturday was a big day - I met old school friends at a local bar for karaoke. My mother sent me off with some cash and a pocket full of mustaches, because apparently, that's what people my age take to bars.
It will probably come as a shock to you that when I mentioned my abundance of mustaches, no one dove for my pocket and tried to have the most fun they ever would have had out on the town.
Also, I wore a mustache to bed. They weren't going to wear themselves.