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This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?





Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I Play Sims (part20)

I know I've said this before, but I don't think this one is any good.  At all.  We're talking polished turd.  Penis pie.  There's a reason, though.

As I've told a couple of you, I built the Rosenzweigs a new home, from the foundation up.  I know absolutely nothing about architecture and I'm intensely anal retentive about details, so I spent the better part of two and a half weeks obsessing over everything from the pitch of the roof to the tiny lights on the porch railings and every little scrap of fabric on every piece of furniture and on and on and on.

Once the house was built, all I wanted to do was move the family in.  Once I moved them in, all I wanted to do was hurry up and get through the remaining backlog of stories, so I could finally start playing them in that house.  Which brings me to the reason this story sucks: I'm phoning it in.  Also: I suck.  I haven't felt very inspired lately.  Some people find that misery fuckstarts their muse.  That's not always the case with me.  Sometimes it makes me a giant bore.

Alright, here we go.  No need to buckle up.

----      

Rachel, in a fit of doing exactly the same thing she always does, decides it's time to return to Champs Les Sims, France for a vacation.  Ah, France ... so beautiful, so romantic, so ... so ...

Sew buttons on your underwear.  Hm.  Why did I think a barely funny verbal retort from Little House on the Prairie was going to work in text?  Oh, right.  I'm out of my fucking mind.

Alright, you know the drill - let's get moving.  The time for adventure is now.


At least, I don't think they do.
 
While you're at it, don't forget to make small talk with the statues.

Wow, that was quick.  You just blazed through that tomb.


Now might be a good time to meet a local.




Follow him, Rachel.  If I've learned anything, it's that it won't be weird.



Now we've just got to figure out why, instead of jogging around this bathroom in urgent urinary desperation, he doesn't just use another.



You two seriously might want to consider interrupting your bathroom klatch for just one minute.


What does it take to get these two to notice that this dude has just pissed at their feet?


Maybe Egypt would be a better choice, Rachel.  Let's go there.



Come to think of it, Rachel, a shower is a good idea - go get washed up and do something fun fun fun fun










I Play Sims (part21)


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13 comments:

Madeline Hammersmark said...

Sounds like a lady when she's walking through a tomb.

Anonymous said...

I have NEVER built a house in the sims from the ground up and I've been playing for half my damn life. Kudos to you! When do we get to see it?!

Unknown said...

Zaggy, I may throw up a sneak peek in a day or two.

Hammersmark, are you writing a song?

Anonymous said...

lol... http://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab298/zedavia/Sims%20the%20second/23explorer2.jpg

Unknown said...

See ... this is what happens when you're around - you get tailor-made jokes in my stories.

E. Studnicka said...

Waaaait... could it be?
Darryl?

Unknown said...

I hadn't thought about it, but now that you mention it, I suppose it sort of looks like him ... and I would do something like dress him up like that, just so I could giggle for a half hour. But no, that dude is game-generated.

Unknown said...

Speaking of which, when I was making his Sim, I put him in a big hat with long hair so he could look like that douchecraft guy Cris Angel, and almost wet myself laughing. Yes, I have a picture of it.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

DoucheCraft...hmmm....

*logs into vocabulary*

Unknown said...

I coined it awhile ago, during Stanley's child to teenage birthday. It went largely unnoticed at the time, and I cursed everyone with bad hair days as a result of the slight. I am lifting your hex.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

How could I miss such a tender viddle?

Darryl said...

Hey, MWB, settle down, I am not a hipster glasses wearing type. Oh, deja-vu.

Wait, you have a picture of you wetting yourself Nico? Keep it to yourself!

Unknown said...

You think you're SO CLEVER. I hope you like your hat. Check the bottom of the post.