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This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?





Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I Play Sims (part21)

Oh my god, I'm so excited, it's Stanley's birthday!  I can barely contain my excitement, and I've definitely soiled myself.  What about you, Stanley?

I don't see Rachel anywhere, but Suri's tonsils have made an appearance so I think it's safe to say this party is well underway.


Fabulous, fabulous.


Hold right the fuck up.  Either you've just walked straight through that sliding glass door without opening it, or I've just taken muscle relaxers instead of anti-histamines again.  Actually, both are entirely possible.
 
The bad news?  Your mother is some sort of sorceress who has found a way around the laws of physics, which she flouts without compunction.  Also, she's standing right next to you.


Come on, guys - you can do this.  Let's just try to have a nice, normal birthday party.






Jesus, Stanley.  Is there some sort of hidden New Jersey Italian trait that just got activated?  Should I move the cake?  Are you about to start flipping tables?
Alright, alright.  Excuse me for living.

Happy fucking birthday, then.


It's time to go get ready for the other party you've been invited to, anyway.

Try not to get your foot run over or Isadora Duncan yourself with a scarf on the way there.



I'm sure that girl lurking back there is nothing to worry about.


It's at this point that the party really starts to cook.  The host talks emeralds while the tattoo enthusiast ponders the death of her lover and removes a bit of fuzz from her shoulder.  Slow down, y'all.

Rachel and Justin are soon joined in the vestibule by another party guest and the conversation reaches new levels of discussion.

But this isn't the only place the party is heating up.  Let's check the upstairs bathroom.
 

Eventually, Rachel wanders upstairs to get a few moments to herself.



Meanwhile, back downstairs ...

But it's not.  Apparently, there's always a woman in a blue sweater waiting for this to happen:



At least Grimmy's cool with it.

Since the party death wasn't at all upsetting for anyone else but the girl with PTSD, everybody goes right back to enjoying the evening.

Someone finally makes something to eat and in an uncharacteristic move, Rachel grabs a plate.



It looks like the party is over, Rachel.  You might want to head home and check on your supply of haunch balm, fatty.

I Play Sims (part22)

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23 comments:

The Militant Working Boy said...

Since I have never played Sims, I can't help wondering, is that you doing the voices in the clip?

Unknown said...

No. In Sims 3 each Sim has three different voice options as well as a slider for pitch. The game either picks it randomly, or you can play around with it yourself. Although the Grim Reaper is a non-playable Sim, so he just is what he is.

All Sims speak Simlish, so it's a nonsensical language which sometimes sounds like real words. If you listen to the clip again, it sounds like Grimmy is saying, "It's cool." to the woman who died when they shake hands.

Unknown said...

The radios also play music in Simlish, and there are a lot of songs which are re-recorded in Simlish for the in-game radios. In Sims 2, I almost lost my mind from hearing Kajagoogoos "Too Shy" in Simlish.

The Militant Working Boy said...

You disappoint me. I had this wonderful image in my mind of you growling YEEEEESDAAAASH... HOOOTSOOOOGBMNH! while Esau and the kiddies played strings and percussion in the background.
This is the kind of thing I like to think of your family doing, just so you know.

Anonymous said...

So is there some way to rewind the game or are you just that fabulous to have caught the woman mid-die?

Unknown said...

I was lucky. I was in the middle of taking a picture, when I noticed that her feet had started glowing. With Rachel's birthday at her house, I had just happened to be trying to record them dancing when that chick decided to die.

I don't "play" so much as I "pause/un-pause/pause/un-pause/pause".

I would KILL for a rewind button.

Also, just WAIT until you see what happens at the next party.

Anonymous said...

I need a dryer starter button. Which oddly enough, isn't sold separately anywhere washer/dryer are sold. To get the button, I'd have to buy a whole dryer.

Unknown said...

You can't "hook-up" a repairman? There's gotta be a repairman in need of a hook-up. I mean, what do they do with discarded washers and dryers?

Madeline Hammersmark said...

FLIP FLOPS?!

Blakenetizen said...

Mommy how do people Die ? THATS HOW!

Unknown said...

"...and that's why you never go to a party."

The Militant Working Boy said...

The "mommy" thing is catching on.

Unknown said...

You're just fucking hilarious. Now go to your room.

Darryl said...

He he he. This is great. Hopefully, I can get everyone calling Nico "mommy."

Also, digging the sims jokes catered to my esoteric sense of humour. Yeah, I caught it.

Unknown said...

Sure, puppy - whatever keeps you busy and from piddling on the carpet. ~scratchscratchscratch~

The Militant Working Boy said...

I am going to butt in here and say that I piddled on the carpet at the or-ringe thing. I don't know if you were referencing something there, but I'm still not over it.
I may even make a T-shirt. An or-ringe T-shirt...

Madeline Hammersmark said...

Haha, I had to say that part out loud just to encapsulate the true essence of the joke.



"Awlways"

Unknown said...

For whatever reason, it just looked like a New Jersey accent was coming out of her mouth. It was actually thicker before, but Husband was unable to make heads or tails of it, so I edited it down to just the two keys words.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

What!? You don't write these things for your husband! You write them expressly for my amusement!

Unknown said...

Why don't you get Sims 3 and start writing some stories for MY amusement?

E. Studnicka said...

If they are all flops, does that make Stanley the Earth Mother?

Unknown said...

Aha, I knew YOU would get the reference.

The Militant Working Boy said...

Kind of a delayed reaction, but yes.