subheading

This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?





Friday, May 6, 2011

Ke$ha - without Autotune

In general, I hate Autotune.  It's fricking everywhere anymore.  I hate it the most when it's used to fix the fact that someone can't sing in tune.  For whatever reason, I can tolerate the way Ke$ha uses it.  This isn't to imply I'm some sort of rabid fan - I don't even own any of her music.

What's my point?  I fucking have one, I promise. 

I just realized that people are freaking out over a clip of her singing without Autotune, as though it proves that she cannot sing.  I listened to clip:



If it's been removed by the time you try to listen, just do a search for "Kesha without Autotune" singing Your Love is My Drug and I'm sure you'll find that it's popped up again.

What the clip proved to me is that Ke$ha actually can sing - she's no Mariah Carey, but I've had my fill of melismatic runs, thank you very much - yet practically everyone commenting was cackling like a half- drunk monkey, as though the fact that she didn't sound like a robot without the benefit of Autotune proved she was a hack.  I took leave of my senses for long enough to comment.  I know, I know.

"I don't get what everyone is so excited about. She's actually singing IN TUNE. I think everyone is just so used to hearing people auto-tuned, they don't know what real voices sound like anymore."

I wake up the next day to someone helpfully schooling me on the finer points of singing.

"@NicoMorley there's a big difference between singing in key and singing in tune. she is not singing in tune."

Pull the pitch pipe out of your ass for a moment, huggy3ear, and explain to me how someone would be able to sing in the correct key the song was written in, without being able to sing in tune - which Ke$ha is doing.   But really, thank god you were there to so eloquently explain the big difference between two things which are essentially the same.  God knows I've never taken a single choir class in my life - I'd hate to stumble blindly into a comment section, try to self-importantly correct someone else and make an ass of myself in the process.  Close call.
submit to reddit
add to del.icio.us saved by 0 users

21 comments:

Madeline Hammersmark said...

Nico....I tried...REALLY tried to not be critical.

But that was horrible...

That was worse than Katy Perry live...

Unknown said...

Oh brother. I didn't say she was a great singer, I said she was capable of hitting the correct notes, without Autotune correction.

Now, you know I hate me some Katy Perry, and now I hate you for making me defend her - but she is a VERY GOOD SINGER, including live, you nutball.

I'm going to have to punish you now for making me say nice things about Katy Perry.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

Katy Perry CAN sing, and she can sing live when it's in her perfect range and she's not moving.

I saw her do E.T. (my guilty pleasure) live, and she was HORRID! Not to mention, she has NO fucking sense of rhythm, and she can't separate her hips from her ribs so she looks like a stiff old man moving about the stage.

And yeah, Ke$ha can hit the notes...some of them. She started out great and then it went down hill fast, unfortunately, that's the part that sticks with me. COME ON! You know how fucking critical I am!!!!


*In no way would I ever pick Katy Perry over Ke$ha, I'm just a woman with opinions.


*I have Greek yogurt, bananas and granola. Be.Fucking.Jealous.

Unknown said...

She can't separate her hips from her ribs? Intriguing.

Fine. I will go try to find her doing that live.

Unknown said...

Okay, I have analyzed the live performance in question. Yes, it threatened to be pitchy, but it was not terrible. And she looked stiff because the choreography was retarded.

To be honest, I am FAR more disturbed and irritated by the song and video for Judas, and that is the final finished product. It's gotten to the point that Lady Gaga thinks she's an arteeest, and her fans could watch her shit on a Ritz cracker and call it genius.

Don't get me wrong, I've liked a lot of Gaga. But Judas just walked up to me in a bar unprovoked and pushed me in the middle of my chest.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

I still need to watch that one!

E. Studnicka said...

This is from someone who can make the water pipes explode just from singing in the shower...
THAT WAS ATROCIOUS. Not just "not good". Not just "not terrible", but flat-out puke-bucket-deadly (pardon me for not being able to think of a more eloquent description).
It was BAD Nico... BAD.
BAD.

P.S. I am completely biased on this one. I don't just not like Keishei$%&@#$#aaa (or whatever she calls herself) off of auto-tune. I don't like her on auto-tune. I don't like Katy Perry. I don't like the black eyed peas. I don't like Lady... well, I actually do kinda like Lady Gaga... but the point is, since I like almost nobody, I am free to hate anyone and everyone I want.

Unknown said...

I'm still right, and if you continue to argue with me on my blog, I will send Kanye West to disrobe you and probe you.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

Yeesh....tell me what's next? Alien Sex?!

Unknown said...

Are you serenading us? Again?

Anonymous said...

Contemporary US music is in the fukn gutter. Its over run with record companies and producers who insist on an immediate commercial success out of the box. No one is interested in an artist developing and refining their abilities over the course of several albums.

Its sell 10 million copies or fuck off anymore. And since thats the over riding influence on fairly well damn near all young musically creative types hitting their early to mid 20s...any hope for a developed, evolved talent...get slimmer by the day.

Anonymous said...

Tap dancing to 'Rollin in the deep' doesn't sound so bad now does it?

Unknown said...

Zaggy, that still sounds terrible.

Jasp3r (what's the DEAL with using a 3 as an e?) just left me a new comment: @NicoMorley Have you ever heard a real singer sing live???

Everyone calm down. I never said that Kesha was a great vocalist.

Anonymous said...

I've got arm pits farts that have better vocals than flea$ha.

Unknown said...

I'm not going to argue with that on the grounds that you're a butthead.

Blakenetizen said...

The Chorus makes my ears bleed :(

Madeline Hammersmark said...

C'mon troops!

ATTACK!

YOMomma said...

Before I even got to the bottom of this post I knew mrs Hammersmark would be commenting. Did someone comment on Adele? I will cyber rape you with a soup ladel if you mess with my woman. That bitch can belt a tune damnit.

Unknown said...

The only thing I have to say about Adele is that if someone ends up tap dancing to Rolling in the Deep this coming season on So You Think You Can Dance, I may have to gut-punch whoever allows them to do something so unbelievably terrible. Everyone has been plunging their dirty little fingers into that song, and it needs to stop.

Emancipation Carlos said...

I see your point, Nico but I will say some parts were cringe worthy. I believe she can hit those notes if she would get a vocal coach to strengthen her voice. I can hear that she can sing but if she doesn't use proper breathing and her vocal cords are not strong enough to belt out every song, her live performance will suffer.

Unknown said...

The point I was trying to make is that the divide between how she sounds without Autotune, and the finished product is not NEARLY as dramatic as it can be with a lot of other so-called singers.

I'm just saying - people are behaving as though Ke$ha was trying to sell herself as some sort of great skilled vocalist when she absolutely wasn't. Everyone is acting as though we've just discovered that the great and powerful Oz is actually some dude behind a curtain pulling levers.