Eat your blog tapas now, children ...

...for there will be no blog tapas in hell.

Let's start off with some scam spam, shall we?

Here are a couple of gems captured and given to me by my friend and fellow simmer, the lovely Lauren:

Here's what happens when I've been awake long past my bed time:

Here's some more of these stupid things:

You've probably heard a lot of rumors about me being a real jerk. That's true. But I make a mean biscuits and gravy. What does this have to do with Sims 3? Almost nothing. Although, my blog has a Sims story on it that's so funny, it will teach your grandmother to suck eggs. Don't ask how I found this out.

So ... I write a blog. There's a lot of random cursing on it, but there's also a Sims story which is so funny, your underwear will disappear right out of your laundry basket, never to be found again. Other than being the author of this story, I have absolutely nothing to do with your missing underpants, just to be clear.

I may make many empty threats regarding my blog & Sims story (such as the disappearance of your underpants) but one thing I will never threaten is to stop writing it if people don't "Like" or follow my blog. In fact, I'm going to keep writing it whether you like it or not. You're not the boss of me. Anymore.

Sims story. Blog - much other random, insane ranting. But a lot of Sims story. You read. I write. It works good this way. New chapter Tuesday. I promise. You believe.

I betcha if you go look at my Sims story, your eyeballs won't fall out or nothin'. At least not since I fixed that issue with the random jabbing. Chapter 24 drops tomorrow, and I yelp in pain about two seconds later.

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Here we have more junk mail:

Here's proof that my mother has insane taste in toys for my children (although it's not quite as bad as the maniacally giggling and dancing monkey or the banshee-in-a-box):

It's remote controlled and the eyes light up. In red.


Finally, I didn't want to fill up my entire Tuesday post with this silliness, but I figured some of you might be interested, so click here for the Mae Incident.

Now, click something.
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