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This is my blog, and it is dangerous. Do you think I want to die like this?





Sunday, April 10, 2011

I play Sims (part19)

There has been an addition to the Rosenzweig household.  Instead of sending the ingot Rachel expected, the smelting plant sent back a Mysterious Mr. Gnome.  So now, on top of the Egyptian and Chinese magical gnomes, we've got two identical regular magical gnomes roaming around.  How the hell are we going to tell those fuckers apart?

Looks like Suri's got an idea forming in her brain.

Suri's other stress management techniques include painting:

As well as playing guitar:


It's okay, you'll be an expert in no time - all you gotta do is ignite your light, or own the night ... or was it gang fight, gang fight?  My point is, for serious and for true - every last one of us is a firework.  In other words, you shit glitter turds.  So that's pretty good news.

Now, let's have a chat about the guy in blue who doesn't live with you, yet seems to be loitering on your deck at a late enough hour that Stanley's already donned his fuzzy bunnies.

Hey, I didn't name him - but that name is the least of my issues with him.  To begin with, I once saw him hang out at your house for nearly three days in a row.  Yet, even more bizarre and vexing - a teenager in a Nehru jacket?  Outside of the 60s?  That is the stuff of aneurysms.


Rachel gets so fed up with him always changing the radio station to kids or Latin music that she decides to try zapping him with her new gadget: the moodlet manager.

Not long after this, Suri decides to majorly update her hairstyle once she notices that Rachel has started wearing her hair in exactly the same bun hairstyle she'd been wearing.

Don't look now, but something even stranger than usual is happening in Stanley's garden:


Looks like she's gone straight upstairs to Rachel's bedroom to relax.
 
Looks like you'll have to watch television downstairs, honey.



As it turns out, she's not a bad couch commander, and the rest of the household gathers to watch television with her - although I can't quite figure out from their reactions what they're watching ... if you go by just the expressions on the faces of the girls, they could be watching a comedy.


Now it just looks like something really disturbing is transpiring to the left of everyone.

Eventually, our resident ghost grows bored with watching television and decides to engage in a more stereotypical ghost behavior.

But, Suri's not the only one seeing a bit of excitement this evening - Stanley's had his fair share, too.



When he's done with that, he heads back inside and that's when things really get going.



I'll bet you're wondering what the gnomes have been up to.
 

This wouldn't be a Sims update without Rachel either taking a trip or getting promoted.  Rachel has made it to the absolute top of her career - she answers to no one!  For the very first time, she manages to earn a promotion without throwing a tearful fit as soon as she leaves the building.


This change in job status means a new work uniform, and a serious carpool vehicle upgrade.

Oh, it looks like Suri's experimenting in the kitchen.  I wonder what she's making.

A clown shouldn't be too hard to pick out in a crowd, you'd think.  I'll bet he's dead.  That's probably why they haven't been able to find him.  Anyway.

Must we use our bare hands?  I've known you your whole life and I've never once seen someone beat you about the face with a measuring cup, so there's no real reason I can see for you not using one.

I'm more than a little concerned that the tray blinking out of existence is actually a distraction from something much worse.

Not to mention the fact that the counter has suddenly started glowing.


Alright, let's find out what Suri's making.


What's next for you, Suri?  What's your next move?


Unfortunately, not everything in the house is absolute perfection.  The computer is shitting sparks, so a professional is called in to take a look.




Alright.  I've got to stop you right here and remind you that your job is to fix the computer, which is on the third floor.  You are on the second floor, doing some sort of pantomime I couldn't begin to describe.  Go upstairs and repair the computer.


I don't know why I'm even bothering to wonder why you seem so upset by the thought of a gemstone.  I'm guessing the dark recesses of your mind are filled with countless mysteries, at which I undoubtedly should not be poking.

I knew you could do it.  I had faith, and you did it - you finally got all the way up to the computer.


I need to take a moment to stop and breathe here, because I'm afraid I just saw you stand in front of that computer, do fuck-all to fix it and then charge fifty simoleons for what amounts to wandering around gesticulating like a mental patient, getting worked up about gemstones and then just leaving.

While all that monkey business was happening at home, Suri decided to pay a visit to the home of their constant house guest, Notzo.



Hey, maybe hanging out with Notzo Curious isn't so bad ... you seem to be having a good time.

I'm not 100% clear on what just happened here, but what I do know is that a hard rain is about to fall.  So if you don't mind, I'm gonna mosey.  If you're smart, you'll be on your way, too.



I Play Sims (part20)

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17 comments:

E. Studnicka said...

I just got around to reading this post, which is HILARIOUS, as always (affectionate brainsucking and androgynous computer repairman/woman get me every time!) and I can't help noticing I'm the first person to comment.
Prepare yourself for excessive commenting on this post a la moi, if nobody else pipes up.
*glares at Darryl*

Darryl said...

hath i been summoned? as nico can relate to, i am sufficiently too tired to fully appreciate this tonight. Same story for Story. I have to catch up tomorruh...

Unknown said...

I'VE BEEN CRYING ALL DAY BECAUSE NOBODY LOVES ME!
GRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAMHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sorry, thought I saw something.

Madeline Hammersmark said...

I like the new pictures you added.


The story will never be the same.

Unknown said...

I wish Photobucket would finish their fucking "brief" maintenance. I worked my ass off, just for them to decide to refuse to show my photos the minute I put them up. Perfect. My whole blog looks like some kind of joke.

E. Studnicka said...

GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAMMMMHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Translation: I too feel your frustration.

Unknown said...

God DAMN it. I have nothing clever to contribute, but thank goodness photobucket is back up and running. I needed that last picture of Suri more than I ever thought I would.

Debbie said...

Holy Shit! I have so much to learn.

Unknown said...

Ah, Debbie. We'll teach you all the wrongest stuff.

denimp said...

Ahhhh the mutant glowing counter strikes again. It annoys the crap outta me, I end up just moving all the lights around.

ariel said...

I feel the need to point this out... Skeksis draining your essence... Dark Crystal reference?

Unknown said...

Absolutely, Ariel. It's not the only Dark Crystal reference I've made, either.

Ariel said...

Now I feel the need to go back and find them all... It's been years since I've seen that movie... It may be time to rewatch it. The Skeksis always terrified me, but I loved the movie.

Unknown said...

I'm not totally sure if there are any before this post, but I do know for sure that there's one in the more recent posts.

There are references to all sorts of things crammed into every place I could get them on this blog. Many of them are fairly obscure because I have bizarre taste in television and movies.

Ariel said...

Bizarre taste is the best taste though, so it's all good.

hawthornlegacycreator said...

Hahaha gotta love Suri :)

Unknown said...

Indeed, if you know what's good for you.

Also, I can't believe you're only on chapter 19.