Dreams and DeBarge

I dreamed ...

that I inexplicably appeared at the birthday party for the wife of an old high school classmate. As I stood there awkwardly, he gave her a hug and a kiss, wished her happy birthday, then said, "Now I want a piece of that cake!" and proceeded to cut himself a tiny 1'' x 2'' slice. He took one bite, set down the plate and walked out of the room without a word. I stood there even more awkwardly for a moment before I wished her a happy birthday, to which she replied, "Let's eat soft pretzels!" I left not long after we grappled over a pretzel, and went straight to bed - when I woke, I found that she'd scooped up all of the leftovers from her party and left them in my bedroom.

that on AFV, a baby accidentally pooped a marble at her sister's face.

that my grandmother - Betty White - was hanging out with me on my bed and mused that doctors should be able to prescribe suicide.

that I told someone I wanted to shake Snooki out of her tree

that I was chasing Johnny Depp around, trying to talk to him. He kept trying to dodge me, clearly annoyed by my presence - as well as the fact that I repeatedly said, "Can I ask you a question?" yet never, ever actually asked him a question. Finally, he threatened to kill himself, so I said, "Should I kill myself too?" - he replied by pointing at me, declaring me "too stinky!" and then fled.

that I was watching a pornographic film in which the actors were trying to have vigorous sexual intercourse while eating enormous bowls of chili. The results were ... not good.

~~~~~

Next, I want to talk about music. Have you ever watched The Little Mermaid? Think about the song Under the Sea. Sing it to yourself. Now, listen to this:


Consider your mind blown. .