It was winter, and we appeared to be in some sort of small cabin. The room was absolutely freezing, and Bunny was slowly - almost diabolically - pulling the covers over to her side of the bed. I was begging her to stop, because she was coming close to removing my portion of the covers altogether.
"Bunny," I pleaded, "please - I won't have any covers at all soon!"
She grumbled to herself, basically ignored me and continued tugging the blankets toward herself. To illustrate exactly how dire my situation really was becoming, I showed her some sort of equation, which calculated precisely how long it would be before I had no covers left at all - to no avail.
I tried a new strategy. "Bunny. If you promise to stop pulling the covers away from me, I'll get up and grab an extra blanket for us to share!" How this made any sense at all, I have no fucking idea. But I spent a great deal of time trying to convince Bunny that this was the answer to our problem of her pulling the blankets away from me.
It was all falling on deaf ears. It was as if Bunny just didn't believe I was cold enough to warrant her sympathy. I had to convince her, so I decided to touch her warm shoulder with my ridiculously icy fingers.
This definitely got her attention. She flung the blankets into the air, jumped out of the bed and barked that she would get the extra fucking blanket so we could have some peace and fucking quiet, thank you very fucking much.
It was at this point that I realized she was completely naked ... and pink. The kind of pink you look after sitting in a hot bath. Healthy, warm pink.
She starts to storm around the corner but stops cold. I stare at her. Before I even have the chance to think, "uh, that's weird", in one fluid motion she's angled her body, bent her knees slightly and has both arms raised in front of her as though she's about to throw a punch.
Terrified, I jump out of bed and stand behind her. In front of us is a man - short dreadlocks, green sweatshirt, not very tall, holding a knife. He looks nervous. I wake up.
Okay, maybe when I said, "I had a funny dream about you" I should have said "weird" instead.
Bunny, I had a weird dream about you.
5 comments:
All of that sounds absolutely true to life except for the naked bit. Did you know I am a somnambulist extraordinaire? Gotta have at LEAST clean underwear on.
Oh, and the guy with the knife...let's hope that's never true.
~BW
In real life, I would never be dumb enough to continue annoying you while you were trying to sleep. Nor would I ever work out a math equation to prove my point.
I'm a fun person to sleep with. Sometimes I wake up and see things. I've read that it's because my body is awake before my mind catches up. Usually I see spiders... The first time it happened I opened my eyes and saw two palm sized spiders making a nest over my face. I recoiled in horror (of course) and when I opened my eyes, they were gone. Another time I saw a normal sized spider dangling down from the ceiling. I sat up and promptly started whacking the sheets to kill the non-existent little bugger. (getting to the point) A couple of weeks ago I opened my eyes to see a large man in a green track suit leaning over my bed to 'get me'. I made a loud noise I've never made before and scared the shit out of my husband. Then I couldn't fall back to sleep because I kept laughing at the sound I made. Perhaps our men in green are one in the same?
Dunno. But I think I might have made that noise before myself. It's pretty hilarious.
http://www.thisman.org/
Most interesting hoax ever.
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