It's Possible I've Solved the Mystery

But probably not the one you were hoping.  Although I don't know much about your hopes and fears, so hey - maybe you have been up at night chewing your fingers to nubs over what the hell was going on with my damned rye bread.  If that's the case, you're in luck.

(As a quick side note, to the 2.5 of you who want a Sims 3 update, I'm working on it.  I'm just not willing to throw up any old crap for the sake of crapping.  I have standards, even if I only have 8 followers and two of them are the same person.  Also, more people should be reading my blog.  It's fucking funny and you know it.  Do you hear that, people who aren't reading my blog?  Do you?  Good.)

Meanwhile, back to my bread.  When I was explaining it the first time, I didn't give each and every (what I thought at the time) irrelevant detail.  Also, new information came to light.  New, and possibly terrifying information. 

So let's go into excrutiating, almost forensic detail with this: 

Before detecting the strange odor, I had a loaf of approximately 8-day-old rye bread, opened (but still in it's original wrapper) sitting inside yet another bag, which was a ziplock freezer bag.

The full loaf of bread spent about 5 days on top of my fridge (in a shallow basket which was part of the packaging of a gift my sister gave me as a wedding present) before it was transfered to the inside of my fridge.

Along with this loaf of bread were a few pieces of older rye bread, also in original packaging, waiting for me to either get a craving for stale bread & butter and coffee, or to stop feeling guilty enough to finally throw it away.  I kept it on top of the new bread, so I could be fully reminded of my wastefulness as I reached past it.

When I'd first opened the newly purchased loaf of rye bread, I put it inside the ziplock freezer bag which had been holding the stale, leftover pieces from the old loaf.  This made the bag almost full to the brim, and when I tried to zip the used freezer bag closed, its sides split open instead of closing, as expected.  Because I can not handle this sort of shit, I angrily threw the unzipped bag on top of the fridge to give it a chance to think about what it had done.  It took me about a day transfer all of the bread into a new freezer bag.

Here's where the horrifying possibility comes in:  About a month ago, we had maintenance come by to fix a few things, and while they were here, asked them to change the a/c vent in the kitchen ceiling - despite the fact the dude couldn't understand why we didn't want all the air conditioning blowing directly into the laundry alcove, cooling only the washer and dryer, instead of the kitchen.  We're ass over elbow crazy, okay?

So in the course of changing the vent, he gets vent dust sheetrock crumbles, popcorn ceiling crackles and god knows what else all over the kitchen floor.  He did a decent job of cleaning it up, but what I didn't find until much later is that this stuff was also all over the top of my fridge.  Where I keep my bread.  Where I'd angrily thrown an opened bag of rye bread and left it for at least a day. 

I don't know if any of that stuff really got into my bread.  Who can say for sure?
 
All I know is that my stomach wasn't right for three days, and even with all my various ailments, having a stomachache for three days in a row, which required me to repeatedly gag down those foamy-diet-strawberry-shake-tasting Gaviscons is not even close to normal for me.

And I still have my eyes on those kids of mine.